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2018 New Year Resolution: Talk Nicely... to yourself.

New year resolution

Do you ever notice the little big voice in your head? I call it little “BIG” because we often under estimate this powerful voice that creates the inner dialogues and stories in our mind. I have realized that it is this inner dialogue that we have with ourselves that shapes the quality of our emotional wellbeing. If our inner dialogue is critical, negative and dishonest we can never be happy; it is when our inner dialogue becomes conscious and loving that we are able to experience love and happiness in our everyday life.

Being aware of our inner dialogue requires mindfulness. Changing the way we speak to ourselves requires honesty, courage and love. Through conditioning we might have been programmed to judge ourselves, we are our biggest critics. How do we expect people around us to love us if we cannot love ourselves in our inner dialogue?

So this New Year, I invite you to embrace a new beginning - a beginning to be more aware of your inner dialogue and hold yourself in wholeness whenever you are being critical of yourself. Holding yourself in wholeness means to not judge yourself and to approach your inner dialogue from a place of curiosity and love.

Here are some insights for a healthier and more mindful inner dialogue trialed and tested by yours truly:-

1). Daily Self love mantra- “I am enough”

I learnt this from Brené Brown’s The Gift of Imperfection. I have been using this mantra ever since I read the book and I teach it to my kids too. When you practice this mantra, simply let go of all the expectations of yourself and accept the person that you are - enough. If you think of all that is expected of you, only “YOU’ can place these expectation on yourself. It’s not your husband, boyfriend, kids, mother, father, friends…

When you repeat a positive affirmation, you are priming your brain, which affects your outlook. It’s proven positive psychology practice. You can switch your daily mantra to a different one or change it from time to time The important thing is to practice your mantra daily.

2). Journaling

Keep a journal for your eyes only (I make my kids and husband swear an oath that they will respect my journal privacy). Write down your feelings and thoughts without thinking too much about what/how you write it, (I sometimes refer to this as written verbal diarrhea). When you write freely, you get in touch with your inner dialogue. If you have trouble writing freely, start by asking yourself these questions in your journal:

  • How am I feeling now?

  • What pissed me off today?

  • What am I grateful for?

I have been practicing journaling for some time now, and I find that it not only helps me get in touch with myself but it also helps me find clarity.

3). Daily self-care routine

Have a self care routine that feeds your soul. Make time for yourself to be more balanced, grounded and happy. Balanced and grounded people also have more space to love and give. Imagine this - you find out that you’ve won One million dollars in lottery. The next minute as you are walking to the carpark you find out that your car has been stolen. Chances are you won’t be as affected because you know you can buy another car with the one million dollars. Your self-care routine is your deposit to your happiness bank.

For me, my daily routine that feeds my soul is time on my mat and on my meditation seat. You may have a different routine and its important that you take time to find out what daily routine makes you feel most alive and happy and commit to it. When you are in a good place, it’s really like winning lottery everyday.

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